I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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