I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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