Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
