wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize