just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
