What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize