Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
