so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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