A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
