i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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