can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
