I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
