I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
