Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
