Umm I'm too high to move.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
