im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
