I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
