he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
