his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
