Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
