Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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