so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ketchup is God's man juice
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
