A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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