Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
