I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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