Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
