adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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