rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
