everyone is single if you try hard enough
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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