Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
