she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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