Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
