Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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