i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
