You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
