I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
