just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am puke
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
