I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
