Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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