I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
