I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
