That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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