i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
