Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
