Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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