dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize