i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize