I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
look no pants
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
