Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
