What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
