I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize