Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
