is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
