can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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