And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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