Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
