I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
