You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
