wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
