question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
