I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
