did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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