is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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