...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
