Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
