I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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