So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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