ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
