Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
