i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
